anxious spring

The weather is so nice out lately like spring is coming but i can't help but feel anxious over nothing. When i didn't have a job i felt anxious about it. Now i got a job i'm already stressed over it. I worry about school next year--how am i gonna prevent myself from becoming another academic bullshit. I worry about small things--address change, heater, email exchange, blogpost, this vanilla cereal yogurt that just tastes too sweet. During yoga i was tensing my shoulders while doing the warrior pose. When i get anxious i just feel mentally and physically stuck. Eager to look for solutions but not recognizing that this is nothing important in the big picture. I start believing that there's some genetic disposition that just makes me feel anxious while there's no acute stress. Speaking of biology and childhood--when i was a kid i bled my nose every time when i thought i was gonna be late for class. I asked L what to do and she, the referral expert, of course suggested me therapy. I said, maybe i have Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Just look at the symptoms:

• Difficulty concentrating
• Difficulty controlling worry
• Excess anxiety and worry that is out of proportion to the situation most of the time
• Excessive sweating, palpitations, shortness of breath, and stomach/intestinal symptoms
• Fatigue
• Irritability
• Muscle tension -- shakiness, headaches
• Restlessness or feeling keyed up or "on the edge"
• Sleep disturbance (difficulty falling or staying asleep; or restless, unsatisfying sleep)

(google health)

See--i definitely have 5 out of 9! Anyways, there's probably no hope for curing unless i develop some sort of long term strategy to deal with those times i feel like i just get stuck with anxiety. Maybe this vanilla cereal fiber power yogurt is a good start for lifestyle changing. I believe there's definitely something about hiding my life from my family over the past 10 years that has made this anxiety become an essential part of my cognition. Now i've resolved some major conflicts with my mom i just need to eradicate the old anxious cells in my body. I think spring is a good time for that.