rice cooker crisis

I almost had a panic attack when i found my rice cooker half dead this morning. I don't know why a piece of 10+ years old, dirty green rice cooker could make me so paranoid. I really didn't care that much about eating my taro buns (...well maybe i did). But it was almost as if it broke then, my last Taiwanese identity would be taken away by the inevitable dominant American culture in the air. Honestly, I never felt so Asian American my whole life.

Booked the tickets for Taiwan and Singapore with April yesterday. Part of me is happy about going home and spending perhaps the last stress-less winter break with my family. Part of me is wondering if this WILL be the last stress-less break between me and my family. I'm excited though, to be in Taiwan and Singapore with friends i met here. I have a feeling that it could change my outlook of what this gigantic geographical location means to me. It'd be great to see this part of Asia not just with nostalgia and huge appetite, but also with a new political understanding of our identities in the US that have been heavily shaped by what's happening at home.

10 days away from the GRE test. 10 days away from fall. 3 months away from deadlines. 3 months away from home. My stress hormones rise and fall with my google calendar. I kept talking about wanting to change this condition but haven't put too much effort into action. Lindsay said i might be in denial, telling myself that this is not urgent enough to do anything about it. And i found it very convincing. I really should set my sanity as one of my priorities. We start going to yoga classes together though. My muscles were so relaxed last night that i did not have any nightmare about mom or dad. I can tell how deep i slept by how messy my hair is in the morning.