a potential ally sister, maybe that's the point of the dream.

I have a dream last night that my sister has two lesbian friends who are a couple. The cute kind. 17 years old. They both look kind of androgynous, like they are neither boys nor girls. Just two lesbians who hang out on the roof top and smoke cigarettes and probably will never grow older, or taller. I am not actively involved in the dream except that my sister delivers the new Japanese Men's Non-No to me at night. I don't know what the point of the dream is until my dad comes into my room one night, throwing out all my Japanese Men's Non-Nos and giving me this dirty look like he knows what I really am, or that my sister's friendship with these two cute lesbians are is my fault.

In the morning while I turned on the radio and made tea, I realized how much guilt and anxiety I still have about my queerness when I think of my family. I'm glad that on top of all the stresses of being a teenage girl my sister understands and accepts me. I really don't know where I was going about writing down this dream. But it seems to sum up my unanalyzable feelings so far.