媽媽打電話來擔心我加入恐佈組織。

「聖誕節炸機的那個人就是去了倫敦後被影響然後變成恐怖份子的。」我一再強調，現在做的勞工運動，是跟學校結合並且多半是由學生以及和大學雇用的工人組成的獨立組織。我並不是被任何黨派吸收，也對黨派政治沒有一點興趣。「蔡英文當時也不知道自己會成為民進黨主席。」她說。沒錯，我們是在挑戰學校行政。沒錯，我們在做以行動為主的街頭運動。但是我們訴求以非暴力的群體運動來達到訴求，並沒有任何不可告人的秘密會議計畫或者炸彈埋伏。我了解去年做巴勒斯坦及中東團結運動的時候，很容易被恐怖主義聯想在一起。但那正是我們要擊破的激進的有色人種行動主義者都是不理智恐怖份子的種族歧視謊言。若是訴求合理開放的教育或者安全的工作環境，都被視為異想天開的後青少年反叛或者恐怖主義，那我想我們乾脆圍起i-5高速公路在上頭跳集體大腿舞罷了。為什麼想要有任何社會改變的想法會被當作那麼不理智的人生選擇呢？反陳雲林的抗爭遊行，我爸好歹也去了。他們出生於戒嚴的時代，比我這一九八七年出生的人還經歷過更多波的民主運動。他們醫師教授教授同軰的小孩，現在也一個個學成歸國，準備考後醫系或者進大公司當經理。也許對於他們而言，那才是所謂的理想人生。擁有一個移民的女同志行動主義者，不想當醫師也不想當律師，懶得討好領導階層的人，更不用說會去做競選立法委員這種違背良心的事的女兒，也許真是個心理的負擔吧。

WE TOOK OVER THE STREET!

We pulled off three rallies on the same day over only one week. Around 80 students and workers came out to protest against the budget cuts. The cops were quieter and maybe too embarrassed to interfere our action so much this time. It's great to see that the workers' demands are front and centered with other students' demands. The next goal is to reach out to more people on campus and stress the urgency of fighting against the privatization of UW.

My arm is hella sore from holding the bullhorn and i totally lost my voice. But it was worth it.

See the Daily's article on the protest.

Watch the action led by International Workers and Students for Justice against abusive manager.

DEMOCRATIZE UW: Fight the Budget Cuts! from Wen on Vimeo.

my Chinese, superstitious, Buddhist, or the psychologically repressed hesitation of joy.

So last weekend there was finally one good news in terms of the tedious graduate school application process. But the Chinese or superstitious part of me is afraid to share this good news with too many people so that I would not jinx it. I always have this strong need to keep the balance of the good and the bad to feel that I'm living in a realistic life. Maybe that's very Buddhist of me, or it could just be pure anxiety. Now I'm writing on this blog which technically people all over the world can read but still not saying what IT really is. You can probably tell how repressed I am about expressing happiness.

I got this amulet thing specifically for school when I was in the Old Streets in Tainan last month. An old man who smelled like temple incense handmade it which made it seem very legitimate. I don't even understand the difference between all those tiny stones in the bag. But somehow having them in my bag makes me feel safe and protected. If it's the Higher Power's will to make me be as queer as I can even in academia for at least the next 5 years of my life, then I guess I should not resist.

Just let me go to NYC already, please!

Protest abuse against UW custodians!

On Tuesday, January 13th, 30-40 students and workers came out to support custodians facing abuse by management and the cops! Protests targeted the abuse of Andre Vasuqez. Basically, he is a racist jerk manager who collaborates with cops to screw over the immigrant custodians. He is WANTED by the UW community for the unjust abuse!

Check out the VIDEO of action here put on by Democracy Insurgent.

a potential ally sister, maybe that's the point of the dream.

I have a dream last night that my sister has two lesbian friends who are a couple. The cute kind. 17 years old. They both look kind of androgynous, like they are neither boys nor girls. Just two lesbians who hang out on the roof top and smoke cigarettes and probably will never grow older, or taller. I am not actively involved in the dream except that my sister delivers the new Japanese Men's Non-No to me at night. I don't know what the point of the dream is until my dad comes into my room one night, throwing out all my Japanese Men's Non-Nos and giving me this dirty look like he knows what I really am, or that my sister's friendship with these two cute lesbians are is my fault.

In the morning while I turned on the radio and made tea, I realized how much guilt and anxiety I still have about my queerness when I think of my family. I'm glad that on top of all the stresses of being a teenage girl my sister understands and accepts me. I really don't know where I was going about writing down this dream. But it seems to sum up my unanalyzable feelings so far.

unemployed and gay

Looking for a job has been a stressful process. I feel like I'm stuck in a weird time, waiting to hear back from school and to move, but somehow it's still important to get a decent job so I can be treated like a normal adult. Six applications this week. More waiting. I don't know if it's because I have this so-called cultural issue of not knowing how to sell myself or the economy is just that bad. I almost felt okay last weekend, thinking that I should use this time to read, write, organize, volunteer, and maybe finally learn to cook. One phone call from my mom where she said, "if you are not doing anything in America, you should pack your bag and come back to Taiwan," totally destroyed my inner peaceful state with my unemployment.

This is it. Under the Capitalist structure it is hard to feel like a decent human being without a job. The funny thing is, no one around me who has a job loves working anyway. We are all just trying to get by, probably with some hope of upward mobility.

But fuck I can't just go back and live in my parents' guest room now pretend that the world is still a cute and fuzzy place with lots of good street foods. They almost make it sound so easy for me and I hate the misguided feeling of comfort. I hate this nasty rain in Seattle but it always reminds me that life is a struggle. There are things needed to be fought for. I feel calmer living with this state of mind than pretending that the world is made for us. And that there will always be warm meals on the table at 6:30pm when you go home.

But hey can you just freaking call me back, H&M??!! I would even try Banana Republic but i might just be too Asian or too queer for them.

Jane mee's awesome article on queer liberation and class struggle:

Queer Liberation is Class Struggle

2010, etc.

回到西雅圖晚上的第一件事是和女朋友去吃越南河粉。than vi的大哥記得，還說，真開心見到妳們！城市很凍但是沒有想像中的不堪。一直都還下著綿綿的雨。我問L，真的會有人想來西雅圖觀光嗎？downtown溼答答的剩下幾棟大型百貨公司仍亮著光。元旦前夕的R place可是熱鬧的不得了。我為了配合L兩吋高的靴子也穿了靴子。whiskey ginger, 7&7, vodka soda...很快就醉了。舞池裡紅紅紫紫的光。april在倒數前趕來，拉著我們轉圈。電視牆壞掉了所以我們跟著DJ一起大喊，54321...！2010。世界還是一模一樣地運轉著。只差一年中只有這秒鐘會有鈔票從氣球裡面掉下來。睡面時間因為時差依舊混亂著，這三天來我已經吃了五顆以上的肌肉鬆弛劑，還是夢到關於學校和搬家的事無法繼續入眠。因為找不到好的工作仍是做著免費的研究勞工。這是新的一年，該有新的樂觀能量？L這個整潔狂正在幫我重新組織我的廚房用具，前任留下的香料和千層麵，和我數不清種類的藥丸。我喝著有機椰子水補充著電解質，準備迎接任何可能。我只是開心我仍是擁有書寫的欲望。