戰友

維持這樣的模式
一年一度從我西方的戰場
偷渡回來見妳 帶著零星的行李
一盒火柴 一枝筆
美利堅城市砲火暫息
是因戰事綿綿燎原至太平洋島嶼
妳說妳已在地底埋伏了數年
戰後的美好日子不過是資本政府的謊言
我們在雜亂的草地上排石拆字
談論馬克思列寧主義
以及種種武器的設計感
並交換勞力剝削的憤恨 親情的負擔
禮貌地陳述近來的愛情
妳的熟悉彷彿觸手可及

卻 閉口不提過去
深怕踩踏長年未拆的地雷
(就算那規模的傷害已不再要緊)
多年前因為時代的困難
妳離開了無憂的青春 我離開了家園
在不友善的世界中被迫成長 心壁磨出厚繭
而後妳必要性地離開了我
(留下幾張未洗的相片 和粗糙的詩)
在北方寒冷夜晚孤守一人的沙場
我無法不想起妳
那些流著汗相愛的夏日 即使短暫
妳當年送我的燈
一直都在我的胸腔中暖著
如今妳找到東海岸的寧靜愛情
我也有了不同國籍的長途伴侶
(彷彿是秘密中地約好要這麼錯開彼此)
維持這般戒嚴時期的緊張距離
我卻仍是想兌換我的所有行李
給妳出入我國境的無限期簽證
就算只是肩靠肩地喝一杯咖啡
看場結局模糊的東歐電影
陽台上 捲一支American Spirit的香菸
我真的願意 在這動盪年代
沉默收藏妳美麗的手臂線條
無拘束的髮 那永遠好奇的雙眼
和妳忐忑卻慷慨的曾經的愛情
做妳遠方的戰友

生命薄弱如紙
這空洞繁華的城市
一根菸蒂毀滅的光景
我只願我們都還能夢見 此刻

被視為瘋狂的新世界

台商在中國的血汗工廠!

富士康12連跳事件整理

Capitalism at work in China: Suicides Highlight Oppressive Conditions at Electronics Supplier

i feel perfectly normal in this in-between space

On the train from the airport to taichung i repeatedly listened to the xx's album. A british band with simple emo sex music and it fit with my sleep deprived exhausted arrival perfectly. I've watched too many war movies in a roll during the 16 hours on the plane--the ones completely lacked of any gender or class analysis--maybe that's where i got my bad headaches from...The air is really humid and muddy here. I swallowed some aspirins from my mom. We had taiwanese-german breakfast, milk tea, and talked about PhD programs, the economic crisis, and the smart evil people on wall street. My mom is probably some kind of social democratic and she is worried about me being a communist. But i do wanna talk to her about socialism someday. Instead, we talked about the world expo in shanghai and how flashy the chinese goverment is. She got some special promotion stuff from the airline so we are going to hong kong for three days next week. I hope i will run into wang faye or something. It just feels right to be so close to these places, not seeing them in some random white dude's academic presentation in the US.

I briefly talked about the new york moving plan, and about L. When we got home, she actually said to me, "if you wanna call someone in the US, it's half-priced to call it from the land line." I'm so stoked that she remembers L's name.

airport complex

It's awfully empty and quiet at 11:30 pm in gate S11 at the airport. I guess May is not a busy season for people to travel internationally. I'm sitting in front of a whole wall of windows watching the airport workers do their magic work with cargos and planes. The sharp flashing lights never seem like this beautiful before. I just said goodbye to L and it was really hard. The short drive in the car we were listening to the knife and it just started to rain. My heart suddenly got dense and heavy. I'm writing down her phone number everywhere i could--on my palm, in my notebook, on the bookmark, on the itouch, as it is the most precious thing that i could not lose and that my life depended on it. I never rely anything on technology. The mind is the best storage place for the most important things. I still believe.

An EVA flight attendant got a phone call and ran to the corner to cry. She sounded confused about what has just happened. I can't really articulate how i feel at this moment either. I only know that it's too big of a emotional change to start reading this new paulo coelho novel i bought about power and fame. I'm not ready to turn off my phone yet even though i already said goodbye to L and she's probably peacefully in bed. I watch the dark night and the flight attendant, trying to locate a precise emotion. I find the bright neon light of the gate number rather comforting.

I started to write a poem for L this early afternoon but got stuck because i was too caught up in my own fear and anxiety of being apart from her. Because how openly we communicate with each other i think i forgot how to describe my feelings beyond using the simplest words. When i say i miss you at this moement, I mean I want to wrap you in my arms and kiss you goodnight, i want you to take care of yourself and think of me when you are in the house, full of our smell and sound. I want you to remember we have a big plan together and i will do anything i can to make that happen. And that this time i won't mess up.

the openness in separation.

I'm tired of this cloudy showering weather that always says "65%" chance of rain in seattle. This spring feels like an enternal dysthymic depression. It's time to be home and to sweat out this bad energy. I'm happy but not as excited as i wish i could be. I think I'm just exhausted. Exhausted from this crisis state we've been in. Greece's economy is falling. Oil spills in Gulf coast. Thai red shirts uprising. Trans sex worker murdered in Wisconsin. Taiwanese managers forced feeding Indonesian Muslim migrant workers pork. Ths list goes on. Sometimes I don't know if it's psychologically healthy to read all the shit that happens in the world without seeing everyday folks fighting back. How could we resist that if we couldn't even convince ourselves that we have the power to do so? I think i need a break not because i lost my hope. I need a break because i simply do not have the mental capacity to make sense of it all right now.

I'm sad to be apart from L during this stressful time before moving to new york. But i know i have to go home because i might not get to for a while. You think it'd be easier now it's probably the 8th year and 20th time i had to do this. But it never really gets easier. Having separate homes across the oceans. Every time i travel i feel like i lost my language somehow--the words i used to speak to describe my feelings about home. Now i only have a few left--"sentimental," "warm," and "distant." What I want to do at home is to read literature, walk in shorts, drink lots of tea, talk to mom and sis, and hopefully to find peace in all the separation and relocation thats necessary for our growth, instead of feeling stuck or scared.

I remember how i could find the greatest happiness in something dramatically simple like writing a genuine poem for someone, or drinking a beer in chaotic streets at night just watching people walk by. I think when we learn how the world operates and how it brings so much oppression and pain to every day people, we forget about all these simple things, because everything is about a historical, systematic plan to destroy and harm. Especailly in the US i can't help but thinking about most things in a professional, dramatic term, just because that's what i only know and how i relate to this land. But i want to learn to think about the place we live in a humane way sometimes. Like i have this 35% chance of sunshine and i really want to walk to the bookstore, get some natural vitamin D, and read this probably politically incorrect lesbian novel.

WE WILL NOT FORGET PALESTINE

一九四八巴勒斯坦種族淨化
by周世瑀

五月十五日是巴勒斯坦人的浩劫(Nakba)日，也是巴勒斯坦人哀悼以色列宣告獨立翌日，旋即以軍事行動種族淨化巴勒斯坦。

以色列政府自一九四八年迄今一再謊稱巴勒斯坦人拒絕聯合國於一九四七年十一月分割巴勒斯坦領土的建議，係因巴勒斯坦人無意追求和平。以色列於一九四 八年五月十四日甫宣告獨立，旋即遭「心有不忿」的阿拉伯聯軍圍攻。阿拉伯聯軍廣播要求巴勒斯坦人「撤離」巴勒斯坦領土，待阿拉伯聯軍「消滅」以色列後，巴 勒斯坦人即可返回。由於聯軍來勢洶洶，以色列只得死地求生。第一次以阿戰爭期間，阿拉伯人係「自願離開」巴勒斯坦。此為阿拉伯國家發動「侵略」戰爭自食惡 果。阿拉伯人所謂的以色列種族淨化巴勒斯坦、巴勒斯坦難民問題、七十五萬巴勒斯坦人在一九四八年遭以色列軍隊驅逐的浩劫，皆為阿拉伯人捏造。儘管以色列的 建國神話荒誕不經，至今仍有人深信不疑。(read more)

my almost last party in seattle

I spent most of April trying to pull off a queer people of color dance party as a fundraiser for the may 3rd strike--it was extremely stressful but too fun to resist! We got the space at Hidmo, awesome qpoc spoken word poets and musicians. Everything just seemed to come together on that night, the poetry, the movie, the music, the people, the space, and the political messages we were sending out. It's weird because you would think that making qpoc the targeted audience you would be limiting who you were attracting. On the contrary, we had almost 200 people showed up that night--and lots of folks can't wait for another event like this. As a qpoc i feel everything we are fighting for--labor, immigrant rights, queer lib--just came together on that night, when i saw a room full of queer folks and folks of color responding so well to the May 3rd strike and March 4th action against privatization of university and its workplace. Some queer folks may see labor as something not concerned them or not related to their life struggle, but i would say labor is as much about workplace as bedroom. I know locally some queer activists are fighting for a grant that can build a cafe shop that would continually hire queer youth. While I understand the work is important, I also feel like we've fought for queer only space for a while, and it's about time for us queers to join the struggle at workplace, fighting for more accessible education, and just workplace for all. This notion of queer vs. class could be really harmful for the working-class and queer communities and would just continually privatize queer issue as something thats only about our sexuality.

On the next day I saw a lot of qpoc from last night at the May Day immigrant rights march. That was the time i felt this is really my community. I felt very honored to work alongside with everyone for queer lib even though we have to fight through so many barriers to come together and to finally get to know one another.