Monday, August 9, 2010

my new home that doesn't feel like home yet


it's surprising to me how homophobic new york can be. i almost can't even tell if it's just east coast aggressiveness or i'm being too sensitive in a new environment. but seriously, i've gotten more homophobic comments in two weeks than i've got in the past year in seattle. lower east side is weird. it could be all white hipsters hanging out in bars and boutiques in one corner and the next corner would be all Puerto Rican workers getting pizza for lunch break. and the old asian ladies often walk toward south while picking up stuff in the streets to earn some recycle money. the stories about gentrification. i don't know how i fit into all of these. maybe folks here just see me and L as the new lesbians on the block and don't give a shit or give us too much attention. growing up in taiwan i always found comfort and safety in crowdedness and that was why i thought i would like new york. but i think i might have to change my mentality here and learn some kickboxing.

prop 8 is overturned in cali but i'm still looking for where the queer struggle lies and what is the most fundamental queer concern. after all we are just like any other oppressed folks, worrying about our safety, next month's rent, getting a job, having a caring community and friends to hang out in the park. i know it's gonna take a while for me to feel that comfort again. but i really wanna like this city. i'm committed to this.

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